You got the prince, now what? Where movies end, you find yourself just getting started. Because when you find love, you realize that finding it wasn’t the story, but the prologue. Finding your prince, princess, or other type of majesty can be both exciting and absolutely terrifying. Sharing your life means sharing your deepest fears, insecurities, and shortcomings. It means sharing trauma and mirroring your toxic ways (yes, even you can be toxic sometimes). Sharing your life with someone means reflecting on your preconceptions and having the courage to expose your shadows. Finding love is hard. It seems almost impossible. Yet having love is probably the most complex challenge you will ever face. Loving people is as hard as it is beautiful. So what do you do when the weight of letting someone in feels heavy?
Get down and dirty fast.
After finding love, it is very tempting to portray yourself as the person you want to be. All you want when you’re in love is to feel secure. Yet, if you use the honeymoon phase to also consciously couple, you will have the chance to create long-lasting safety. Also, having hard conversations and conflicting views doesn’t have to create distance. You can use the naivety of your relationship to your advantage. When a relationship is still unwritten, you are more likely to have headspace and an understanding of the human experience of your partner. You are still very much open and not bound by past experiences together. You might even tend to people-please more in the beginning of love and therefore are more motivated to self-reflect.
By diving into the complexities of your relationship headfirst, you lay the foundation for genuine connection. Embrace vulnerability and honesty, even when it's uncomfortable. Remember, the willingness to confront challenges together is what strengthens the bond between you and your partner.
Prioritize communication and set boundaries.
Communication is key in any relationship, but it becomes even more crucial when navigating the ups and downs of love. Make it a priority to express your thoughts, feelings, and needs openly and honestly. Encourage your partner to do the same. Practice active listening and empathy, seeking to understand before being understood. This level of communication fosters trust and deepens your connection.
While it's essential to be open and vulnerable with your partner, it's equally important to establish and respect boundaries. Understand each other's limits and preferences, and honor them without judgment. Boundaries create a sense of safety and autonomy within the relationship, allowing both partners to thrive as individuals while still being part of a couple.
Seek support when needed and embrace growth and evolution.
Love may be a beautiful journey, but it's not always easy. There will be times when you face challenges that feel insurmountable on your own. During these moments, don't hesitate to seek support from trusted friends, family members, or even a therapist. Remember, asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Lean on your support system for guidance, perspective, and encouragement as you navigate the complexities of love.
Love is not static; it's a dynamic and ever-evolving force. Embrace the growth and change that come with it, both individually and as a couple. Allow yourselves to learn from mistakes, adapt to new circumstances, and evolve together. Celebrate the milestones and cherish the journey, knowing that every experience—good or bad—contributes to the depth and richness of your love story.
In conclusion, finding love is just the beginning of a beautiful and challenging journey. It requires courage, vulnerability, and commitment to navigate the complexities of intimacy and connection. By embracing authenticity, communication, boundaries, support, and growth, you can cultivate a love that withstands the test of time. So, what do you do when the weight of letting someone in becomes a burden? You face it head-on, together, knowing that the rewards far outweigh the risks.
